Can you Date while Living in a Sober House?
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Although most sober house rules do not expressly forbid dating outside of the house, it is not advisable to do so. Sexual contact between members of the house is strictly forbidden in sober houses. Entering into a relationship in the first year of sobriety is generally discouraged because this is the time you are to be working on yourself. In many instances, new relationships require work and it is almost impossible to do that and work on your own life at the same time. According to the New York Times, relationships while in recovery are extremely difficult.
Reasons not to Date While Living in a Sober House
There are many reasons not to date while you are still living in a sober or halfway house. Some of these reasons are:
- People in recovery need time to recover before they make a commitment.
- They often choose unhealthy or codependent partners.
- If you date too soon you might replace one addiction for another.
- The pressure placed on someone when dating might be too much.
- People in recovery often have problems with codependency.
- Some people in recovery often expect someone else to fix them or try to fix others.
- Over or under sharing is usually present when someone is in recovery.
- It is difficult to explain that you are still in a sober house to a potential match.
Explaining that you are in recovery is difficult enough, explaining that you are in a sober environment might not be the best thing to need to do. It is too easy to avoid the subject or lie about it. The chances that the relationship will start on a lie are very great when you are living in a recovery facility. It is important to be honest in relationships.
If you’re Already Dating Before Entering a Sober House
If you are already in a relationship before you enter the sober house, that dating may continue. During recovery and sober living, you are encouraged to be honest. If you are not honest with the person you are dating about the sober living residence, it could come out later and wind up causing problems in the relationship.
If the person is not willing to continue under the sober house rules or wait until you are out, then perhaps the relationship was not a good one to begin with. Many addicts date within their addiction. Dating an addict while you are in a sober house is very difficult. The chance of relapse is very high.
Although there is no reason why your relationship cannot continue, but any relationship will be difficult until you are fully recovered. Most people choose not to date while in recovery or while living in a sober house.
Some sober houses help both partners deal with the addiction and relationship aspects of recovery. Also some offer educational courses on relationships and other interactions while in recovery. For help finding one of these sober houses call us at 800-373-1667 (Who Answers?) .